Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person, by Alain De Botton

The Covid pandemic has challenged all of us in many ways. In Australia, at least, the financial and emotional impacts have been far greater than the headline statistics, and relationships with our loved-ones have often borne the brunt of this stress.

“You can’t think too much, you can only ever think badly”

Philosopher Alain De Botton needs little introduction. If you’d like a gentle reminder he is quoted as saying, “You can’t think too much, you can only ever think badly”. In this presentation from 2017 he tells us that, “You’re not easy to live with and the reason is that you are homo sapiens”.

The topic “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person” is taken from an essay which was published in the New York Times in 2016. Rather than shift the blame on our partners' shortcomings, De Botton focuses responsibility squarely on a self-awareness of our own. He further suggests that compatibility is a work-in-progress and compromise (in love) is good. He reminds us that, contrary to the western romanticised ideal, love is a skill and it needs to be practiced and learned.

In a world where a YouTube video (without cute kittens or Justin Bieber) rarely gets 3,000,000 views, De Botton manages to inform and entertain on this vital subject. And as he pays homage to his inspiration in the closing moments, he’ll make you laugh at us.

You can find the link to the brief YouTube video here. If you prefer to read the New York Times essay, you can find it here.

In closing, I am reminded of the second best time to plant a tree; right now. The best time? That was twenty years ago. Call me an optimist; plant trees. Enjoy and keep well.